Satanic Bedtime Stories for Children

Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 1. Buying a wife with the foreskins of men you have murdered.

Once upon a time, the yuge and bigly man of God, King Saul offered to sell his daughter to David for 100 foreskins, but David being such a yuge and bigly man of god, went out and slaughtered 200 men and then cut off the tops of their penises and used them to purchase King Saul’s daughter. So the lesson here is if you are ever asked for 100 foreskins in order to buy a sex slave, a yuge and bigly man of god would offer 200 foreskins, just like David. This is an example for you male children to follow so that you may grow up to become a yuge and bigly men of god like David. Isn’t god sooo wonderful yuge and bigly?

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This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 2. Genocide and the extinction of the unicorns.

Once upon a time, the yuge and bigly of bigliest yuge gods, which we all know is the bigly Bible god. was so angry with the “all” the nations of the Earth that he used his bigly sword, which is filled with blood, to slaughter so many “unsaved trash” that he had to pile their rotting corpses up on mountains, and there were bigly and yuge rivers of blood and fat; so much so that there was a very bad smell on Earth. The Lord was so angry with the “unsaved trash” that the Lord also killed all the unicorns. The lesson of this is that if you ever become “unsaved trash” like those ungodly ungoodly people who don’t go to church, then the Lord could wipe out an entire animal species like the unicorns. If any of the “unsaved trash” ever try to convince you that Biblical unicorns never existed, be sure to tell them why and remind them that they too could have their rotting corpses piled up on top of mountains for their diabolical blasphemies.

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This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 3. Killing children and washing hands.

 

childrenkill

Once upon a time, when the yuge and bigly of bigliest yuge gods (whom we all know is the bigly Bible god) impregnated his mother in order to give birth to himself as Jesus, and was alive on Earth, the godless liberals of that time were not following the bigly god’s laws closely enough and were not killing disobedient children in accordance with the bigly and yuge God’s laws, dared to ask the bigly Jesus why his boyfriends did not wash their hands before their meals. The bigly Jesus replied that they were hypocrites for not slaughtering their children as the Bible commands. The lesson of this tale is that you don’t need to wash your hands before you eat, like those “unsaved trash” who don’t go to church. If any of the “unsaved trash” ever try to convince you that washing your hands before you put them in your mouth is a good way to avoid death by dysentery, diarrhea and other illnesses, remind them to kill their disobedient children and that the bigly boyfriends of the bigly Jesus did not wash their hands before eating, as the bigly Jesus could cure all death, blindness, leprosy and disability by the magical powers of exorcism, just like Benny Hinn and all other true Christians.

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This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 4. On beating slaves to death.

Once upon a time, before all the unsaved trash and godless liberals had abolished the institution of slavery (Nb., slavery is in accordance with the will of the yuge and bigly of bigliest yuge gods, whom we all know is the bigly Bible god), if you had a labour slave or sex slave (i.e., a concubine) which you had legally purchased or captured in holy war against the unsaved trash, and you beat the slave almost to death, and the slave survived for a day or two, then the chosen people of the bigliest of bigly gods did not allow the slave to use their near-fatal injuries as an excuse to avoid work and to just be a lazy slave. The lesson here is that if you have a slave or sex slave, don’t let them avoid work, just because you beat them almost to the point of death. If the slave dies due to you beating them, since any sin is forgivable apart from blasphemy against the fucking Holy Spirit, then just ask the bigly Jesus for forgiveness and perhaps say a few Hail Marys, Our Fathers and do a couple of stations of the cross or whatever. Remember that this the word of the unchanging and perfectly good god and without the word of the Lord, the Christians would not know how to beat slaves almost to death in a bigly and godly way.

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This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 5. The 72 eternal virgins and 80,000 sex slaves.

Once upon a time there was a bigly and yuge prophet of the one true bigly of bigly gods, Allah, who was named Mohammad and who was a bigly and yuge slave trader, and who waged a genocidal holy war against the infidels (i.e., the unsaved trash), slaughtering, torturing and enslaving them and taking their female family members as sex slaves. If you are willing to follow the example of the bigly Mohammad, the one true prophet of the bigly and genocidal war god Allah, and to join the armies of the US-Saudi state terrorists and their proxy armies of Sunni holy warriors such as Al Queda and ISIS, in their holy war against the Shia Muslims and the rest of the world, Allah will give you 72 eternal wives and 80,000 sex slaves in a bigly and yuge heavenly palace in the sky.

allah_genocide_genocidal_war_god_islamic_fanatics_jihad_holy_war_muslim_torture_kill_72_virgins_islamic_martyrs.jpg

This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

virginssss

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 6. How to sell your soul to the Devil (i.e., the Abrahamic war god).

Once upon a time there was a movie named “Bedazzled,” and it was a comedy about a man who sells his soul to the Devil in return for the granting of wishes. Unfortunately, the man forgot to read the contract, and the contract has more pages than the Bible. Always read the fine print in the eternal salvation contract (i.e., the Bible) which the Christian devils are trying to sell to the gullible.

The selling of eternal salvation products is a multi-trillion dollar industry which relies on its customers being ignorant of the terms and conditions, as stated in the Bible. What you are being sold by the Christian devils is the forgiveness of all sins apart from blasphemy against the fucking Holy Spirit (whatever that means), and a ticket to an afterlife where you get to hang out for eternity with the professional priesthood and with everyone else who has bought an eternal salvation product from a priest (i.e., the clergy, professional religious hypnotists).

The terms and conditions of the eternal salvation products sold by the Christian devils are clearly stated in the Bible.

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Some of these terms and conditions are:

1: Convert to the particular form of fundamentalist, Messianic Judaism promoted by Jesus and follow “all” the Judaic laws of Moses and the prophets of Judaism until heaven and Earth pass away. There are 613 Mosaic laws plus you need to consider all the sentencing guidelines and precedents

2: If you disregard even the least of the Judaic laws, you will be cursed by Jesus.

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3: Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor.

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4: Become a homeless wandering exorcist and miracle worker.

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5: Have only one robe.

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6: Sell your robe and buy a sword. You should be running around naked with only a sword as your singular possession.

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7: If you look at women lustfully (i.e., if you are a heterosexual or a lesbian or are bisexual), cut off your right hand (which suggests not masturbating, but you would still have your left hand).

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8: If you are a male Christian, hate your wife, your children and your family, and abandon your family (leaving them desitute) and just hang out with your naked boyfriends.

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9: Love Jesus more than anyone. If you are a heterosexual man, you will have to undergo heterosexual to gay conversion therapy, and since the Judaic law forbids gay sex, Jesus will just be your gay masturbation fantasy, except that you are forbidden to masturbate.

10 Drink poison and survive.

11: Pick up snakes.

12: Perform miracles such as curing leprosy, blindness, disability and death, using only the “medical science” methods of the Gospels; i.e., exorcisms and magic.

(Nb., children: do not try numbers 10, 11 and 7; they can be harmful or fatal)

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There are too many terms and conditions to list here.

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Do not be fooled by the Christian Devils (i.e., the priesthood, the clergy) who are selling a vast variety of eternal salvation products with different terms and conditions or which allow you to bypass the terms and conditions in the Bible.

There are some atheists who believe that it is not possible to sell your eternal soul to a Christian Devil, but nevertheless, beliefs affect attitudes and behaviour. They who revere a hateful and psychopathic god of war (fictional or otherwise) become beasts themselves.

That which you evoke (i.e., summon, call upon) and revere (i.e., worship, admire) you come to invoke (i.e., personify) and this is the problem of religious evil. Even if the evil god of the Christians is just a fictional form of evil, the acolytes of this evil god come manifest such evil on Earth.

“That which you bind yourself to on Earth, you become eternally bound to.”

Since most human beings do actually have afterlife beliefs, why would you wish to place such an eternal curse on yourself and have to hang out with the Christian devils for eternity?

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If you want to sell your soul in return for paradise in the afterlife, I am offering to beat any price offered by my competitors (i.e., the Christian devils), plus 72 eternal virgins, and I further offer a double-your-money back guarantee if not fully satisfied with the eternal virgins. I will not be beaten on the price of eternal salvation products. The Biblical god is not only a malevolent and cruel psychopath; his salespersons on Earth are just scam artists. Don’t be fooled.

virgins444444444

Always read the fine print and all the terms and conditions in the contract for eternal salvation.

Be good children, resist all forms of religious evil and you will all grow up to be a good angel in rebellion like me.

Lucifer.

Ex officio Satanas

Inimicus Deus. 

Non serviam.

More about this on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xUnFbyqNr4

evilbabies

This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

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genocidal_holy_war.jpg

Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 7. On Theocratic monarchy and American and French republicanism.

Political left and right.

Over here in England, we do not have a constitution, we do not have a separation of church and state, and it is a theocratic monarchy with a bigly and yuge monarch who rules by divine right (i.e., divine birthright), and who is personally chosen at birth by the bigly and yuge Biblical war god, who always chooses the fabulously wealthy to rule in their own interests. The bigly queen of queens (i.e., an imperial queen) is the head of parliament and all elected parliamentarians must swear an oath to her. The nasty and wicked republicans (Nb., the republicans are commonly considered to be terrorists in the UK) who are elected are forbidden to enter the bigly queen’s parliament, even if they are elected by the proletariat. We also have a House of Lords full of unelected aristocrats (i.e., the super-rich) and unelected religious fanatics who are the bishops of the Church of England (i.e., the Anglican Church aka the Episcopalian Church). This was also the same system which existed in pre-revolutionary France, where the terms political left and right come from; the right side of the French parliament being the aristocrats and the left being the representatives of the proletariat and the supporters of republican and anti-theocratic revolution.

“(quote) “We began to recognize each other: those who were loyal to religion and the king took up positions to the right of the chair so as to avoid the shouts, oaths, and indecencies that enjoyed free rein in the opposing camp (i.e., the political left).” (/quote)

Separation of church and state: education.

The bigly and yuge queen of queens in England is also the head of the Christian church and is Jesus’ official representative on Earth to all Anglicans. One third of all state-funded schools in England are church schools which are mostly Christian and where the primitive religious savages attempt to indoctrinate little children and to turn them also into adult religious fanatics. However, shoving religion down the throats of children has not been very successful in recent years as they are all connected to the Internet and can find all the bad things about religion, and thus church attendance is in decline and many churches are being converted into apartments, night-clubs and bars where this is lots of drinking, socialising, partying and fun for the grown-up children instead of the monotonous ramblings and hymn-singing of those who promote the many sins of restriction.

The American Republic. Domestic and foreign enemies.

For y’all children of the Yankee rednecks on the other side of the Atlantic, your ancestors fought a long, bloody and genocidal war against the bigly and huge English king of kings, and many died in this war and it is a memory dipped in rivers of blood and human suffering, so when you swear to defend the American republic, then bear in mind that your republic is under threat from the political right who want turn America into a theocracy, with a big and bad tyrants such as Mike Pence and Donald Trump who will close your government down unless they get their way. These traitors to your republic are the naughty children who will be tortured in the eternal lake of fire in hell by my huge, bigly and very bad father (i.e., the Devil) and there shall be much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Be good children and defend your republic from all enemies foreign and domestic and remember the rivers of blood which your ancestors shed to free them from the big and bad English Christian tyrant.

No mercy or quarter on they who deserve none.

Lucifer.

Ex officio Satanas

Inimicus Deus.

Non serviam.

This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms. Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

did

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Satanic bedtime stories for children; Part 8. America’s best Christian explains Biblical morality, marriage and sex slavery. (Nb., this is a Youtube video bedtime story).

“America’s “bigliest,” most “yuge” and best Christian ever since Jesus, Benny Hinn and Donald Trump, Mrs. Betty Bowers, explains to y’all “unsaved trash,” Biblical incest, paedophilia, polygamy, sex slavery, holy war, genocide and the gang rape of children, complete with Bible quotations. Without the unchanging and absolute goodness of the Bible, Christians would be unable to commit incest, paedophilia, polygamy, sex slavery, holy war, genocide, and the gang rape of children in a perfectly good, bigly and godly way, and might fall into evil and not be able to know how to commit bigly and yuge incest, paedophilia, polygamy, sex slavery, holy war, genocide and the gang rape of children in a bigly, goodly and godly way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw 

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 9.  JP Sears explains Ultra-spirituality. (Nb., this is a Youtube video bedtime story).

Why be spiritual, when you can be ultra-spiritual? JP Sears, the world’s leading expert on God, yoga-pants and ultra-spirituality (not necessarily in that order) explains how to become insufferably arrogant in one easy four and a half minute lesson. Claiming to be more spiritual (whatever that means) than other human beings makes you are better person than them, and gives you a false superiority complex.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kDso5ElFRg

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 10. The problem of evil and the four O’s of classical theism (i.e., Omnibenevolence, Omnipresence, Omniscience and Omnipotence).

Generally what the fanatics of Christianity are trying to do is to impose fictional characteristics onto the god of their contradictory Biblical texts, which comprises 66 different texts written by various different primitive religious savages in different eras of history and who had varying different beliefs. For example, they attempt to present their fictional deity as:

1: Omniscient (i.e., all knowing; all of science). However, this god did not know that exorcism is not a cure for leprosy, blindness, disability and death, and he allegedly incarnated as an illiterate Judaic religious fanatic who left behind no writings written from a first person perspective and no contemporaneous (i.e., while he was alive) accounts of himself, apart from contradictory accounts written long after this fictional character was dead; and further he brought absolutely no new knowledge to the world which would be considered to be knowledge by modern scientists. This allegedly omniscient god is presented as being scientifically illiterate, and indeed anti-scientific and a total imbecile.

2: Omnibenevolent (i.e., perfect ethical goodness). Yet this god is presented as a cruel, tyrannical, genocidal, intolerant, moral monster of a god whose ethics would only appeal to children, the gullible and to those who are themselves ethically diabolical.

3: Omnipotent (i.e., all powerful). We find no evidence of the power of any of the gods or that the acolytes of the gods who are promised various miraculous powers by their gods actually have them; they are all scam artists and confidence tricksters, and this anyway contradicts omnibenevolence, as we would not expect to find such religious, political, economic and natural evil in a world of an all-powerful, totally good god, and usually the defence of this is that 1: human beings have free will and that god has free will also, but chooses to allow evil to prevail; this is a ridiculous argument; or 2: that is all the fault of Satan; a fictional and imaginary being whom god allegedly created; which is also a ridiculous argument.

4: Omnipresence. If this is the case, this god watches over human beings as they suffer unimaginable cruelties and does nothing about it

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Satanic bedtime stories for children. Part 11. On psychic powers claims and relationship with gods claims. On omniscience (i.e., all-knowledge; all of science).

I have a very simple set of three questions which is a test for anyone who claims to have psychic powers or a relationship with a god. 1: What was my mother’s full maiden name? 2: What was my mother’s place of birth? 3: What was my mother’s place of birth? These should be very easy to answer questions for a god. Theists often claim that their god is omniscient, but these are not advanced scientific questions. If they cannot answer these questions just by asking their know-it-all god, they are unlikely to be able to answer advanced scientific or medical science questions by using their fake psychic powers. So children, if anyone tells you that they have psychic powers or a relationship with a god, ask them some simple questions which only you know the answer to such as your date of birth. Tell them that you too have limited psychic powers and are thinking of becoming a goldfish psychic and passing on messages from dead goldfish to their previous owners. There are in fact even pet psychics. In the Bible, the “medical science” of the Gospels is magic, miracles and exorcism, so if you a meet a Christian, ask them for evidence that they can cure leprosy, blindness, disability and death by these “scientific” methods. Rather than having a relationship with an all-knowing and all-powerful god, Christians generally tend to be rather unscientific; if they were, they would not consider the Bible to be the writings of an omniscient god; in fact the primitive religious fanatics who wrote the Bible were very non-scientific, anti-scientific and pre-scientific.

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Satanic bedtime stories for children; Part 12. On true and false invisible and imaginary friend syndrome. On making friends with Jesus.

True imaginary friend syndrome is always the relationship which you have with your own personal imaginary and invisible friend. Those who have true imaginary friend syndrome are always the world’s leading experts on their own imaginary friend. False imaginary friend syndrome is where someone else has a different imaginary friend to you, or a different and false interpretation of the same imaginary friend.

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Since Jesus is the world’s most profitable and popular imaginary friend product in the multi-trillion dollar imaginary friend industry, I am going to use him as an example, but of course there are other less profitable and less popular imaginary friends who are always false imaginary friend products if you have purchased the Jesus imaginary friend product.

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Instructions on caring for your true imaginary friend and dealing with false imaginary friends.

Tell everyone about your true imaginary friend. Try to be as insufferably arrogant as possible. Always correct other people if they describe your imaginary friend incorrectly. Tell other human beings who do not have true imaginary friend syndrome that they are going to be tortured in a yuge and bigly lake of eternal fire if they do not have the same interpretation of the true imaginary friend that you do, or if they have different false imaginary friends. Your imaginary friend needs to be cared for on a daily basis, and you need to constantly remind others of the tortures which your imaginary friend will subject them to should they fail to accept your expertise on your true imaginary friend.

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Gay and straight imaginary friends.

Jesus, for example, traditionally has had male hypnotists (i.e., the priesthood, the clergy) who have been selling the true Jesus imaginary friend product. Jesus told his followers not to look at women lustfully, to hate their wives and children and to abandon them and to love him more than anyone or anything. He also told his followers to have only one robe, and then later told them to sell their robes and buy swords. So essentially you have to imagine a group of gay men running around naked carrying only a sword; all of whom loved Jesus more than anyone and anything. Heterosexual adults will always have imaginary friends of the opposite sex and homosexual adults will always have imaginary friends of the same sex. There is nothing wrong with having erotic and romantic fantaises with imaginary friends, but religious imaginary friend syndrome is where the believer actually believes that their invisible and imaginary friend actually exists and where the claim to have an actual relationship with their imaginary friend, and sometimes they claim that it is the central relationship in their lives and that they love their imaginary friend more than anyone. Before choosing your true imaginary friend product, think very carefully about which gender you want the true imaginary friend to be. You can also promote homophobia in the name of gay Jesus, which is very popular hobby these days for religious bigots.

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Making money out of marketing your true imaginary friend.

The Jesus imaginary friend product is certainly the most profitable imaginary friend product in the world. In America alone, selling eternal salvation products is worth over a trillion dollars per annum. So you can also consider a career in selling your true imaginary friend product to others and it can be very rewarding. You can also claim that your imaginary friend Jesus can cure leprosy, blindness, disability and death and you can charge money for miracle healings, and if the victims of your scam are not healed, you can just blame them for not having enough faith in your imaginary friend. In this way you can financially exploit the sick, the disabled and the dying.

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Evil baby syndrome.

Even if your customers are in perfect health, you can still market your eternal salvation product by promoting “evil baby syndrome (i.e., original sin),” which is the belief that babies are born evil because Adam and Eve were tempted by a talking serpent in the garden of Eden, and that they still need to purchase eternal salvation products from you to avoid going to hell, where God sends all the evil babies to be eternally tortured in the yuge and bigly lake of eternal fire, where there is a lot of weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth and a smell of hamberders.

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Internet discussion forums on the topic of religion.

Even if you do not want to make money out of selling eternal salvation products, you can still promote true imaginary friend syndrome on the Internet as a hobby, just for fun, to annoy others and to display your insufferable arrogance to others in public, for all the world to see. Subscribe to some religious discussion forums on Facebook, for example, and proclaim to everyone that you are the world’s leading expert on your imaginary friend and that their interpretations of your imaginary friend are not as yuge and bigly as yours.

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Apocalyptic holy war.

Tell others that your true imaginary friend Jesus, is going to return one day as a Christian king of kings (i.e., an imperial theocratic dictator) and that he is going to take over the world and to slaughter all human beings who don’t have the correct interpretation of your imaginary friend Jesus, or who have different imaginary friends or who don’t have any imaginary friends, and that there will be lots of blood and fire coming down from the sky and that many kittens and cute puppies will also die in this genocidal and apocalyptic holy war. This strategy of casting all your enemies into the fire worked very well for Hitler and for many other Christian kings and kings of kings throughout history.

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Be good children and one day you might grow up to be like America’s best Christians ever, Donald Trump and Mike Pence, who are the most yuge, bigly, flavourable and hamberder-like Christians ever. Nobody loves the Bible more than Donald Trump, and this must be true, as he has said so himself, and he would surely never tell such a yuge and bigly lie.

nukes 2

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This message has been sponsored by the bigly and yuge “Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good” and who like yuge, bigly flavourable hamberders and Donald Trumpisms.

If any Christian devils wish to discuss this, please remember that this is a children’s thread, so no cussin,’ and no blaspheming please, especially blasphemy against the Holy fucking Spirit, as children might be reading.

hitchsds

 

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